gah!

ugh! i want a cookie like, so bad!!! somebody brought in homemade chocolate chip cookies to the office and they are sitting in our lil kitchen in a heart shaped tin. how can i resist!!??? BUT I MUST.

THIS SUGAR WILL NOT CONTROL ME.

Why America Is Fat.

I just saw a commercial for IHOP. All-you-can-eat pancakes. Why, God, why? Empty calories. Smothered in syrup of your choice. $3.99. Eat til you puke. It's no wonder why the rest of the (starving) world doesn't understand us.

For The Record

This morning, I weighed in at 265. Phew. I said it.

Hey Tuesday Hey

So I'm really feeling the sparkpeople.com website. It's certainly much easier to just input what I've eaten, and have someone else calculate all the quantifiable bits. These last three days, I have come in at or under my goals, with the exception of fat. I've blown my fat intake by about 10 gms a day, every day. I don't know how to feel about this, just yet. Part of me thinks that since I'm not eating any sugar, I'm okay with eating pimento cheese, even though that is the opposite of low fat. If I can't eat a cookie, I'm GONNA have some cheese. Sometimes.

I've gotten into the totally strange habit of eating celery, cucumbers and radishes for breakfast. It's totally satisfying and very filling, but not so breakfast-y. Oh well. As long as I'm getting my five, right?

I got on the scales this morning, and I've lost five of my eight holiday pounds already!! Huzzah!!! I think this blog is working for me!

things to be proud of

-- kathy smith on sunday
-- bollywood dance class last night
-- gym today

-- 3 full days of lots of veggies + low calorie and low sugar eating
-- quelching my internal cries for a sugar treat with another glass of water and a pep talk

-- signing up for sparkpeople.com; very helpful! i set up my goals, got my recommended calorie intake, and set up a work out plan. aerobic and strength training. the isolated exercises and videos are the bomb.

-- getting through another day!

Today Was A Good Day...

...aside from the fact that I seem to be coming down with a chest cold of sorts. I've been pumping the Airborne/Emergen-C/hot tea/ibuprofen and crossing my fingers. I don't want to have the swine flu.

So, imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale today to discover I've lost three pounds! I'm pretty sure it's a New Years miracle, but I'll take it!

Day two, sugar-free. I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about cookies more than I'm entirely comfortable with, but I have withstood the relentless nagging of my own brain for a sugar shot. I'm looking forward to the day, two or three weeks down the line, when I don't think about Little Debbie peanut butter bars. Or a waffle cone full of pralines and cream. Or my archnemesis, Ferrera Rocher. God, I love those chocolate covered macadamia nuts. But I digress.

For breakfast, coffee with skim milk, and celery, radish and cucumber with roasted garlic hummus. Weird, I know, but I'm a non-traditional breakfast eater. For lunch, I had a Subway tuna sammich, and a big of Baked Lays. For snack, a handful of raw pecans. For dinner, spinach/feta frittata, roasted carrot/cumin puree with raisins, and LeSeur very early baby young peas.

Sparkpeople.com tells me I'm 10 grams of fat over for the day, and 14 grams of protein under, but that I came in at 1265 calories. I'm happy with that. I'm not even entirely sure that the fat content is right, because they didn't have the right brand of hummus in their database, and I'm not sold on hummus having that much fat. And even if it does, I'm comfortable with it. It's hummus, for crying out loud.

After my surgery, I wasn't counting calories. All I did to lose 95 pounds was to cut out all processed sugar and high fructose corn syrup, all carbonated beverages, and alcohol. I can do it again. I am doing it.

I Meant January 3rd.

So, in making my new plans for my new way of life, due to start on January 2nd, I temporarily overlooked the fact that January 2nd is my 12-year old brother's birthday. And that there would be cake. And that I would have to eat it.

I agonized a bit about it, and even said no when first offered, but Lil Man persisted, saying that he wouldn't enjoy it as much if I didn't have any, etc etc etc--all the things a 12-year old might say on his birthday when he idolizes his big sister. He wants it, and he wants me to want it. He enjoys it, and he wants me to enjoy it. And so I did. I can't say no that face...unless he's being a little shit making outlandish requests, such as $600 tickets to the Jay-Z concert next month. That 'no' was easy.

There were small victories, however. I took a small piece, a sliver, really, and I didn't eat a bit of icing, nor did I ingest any delicious Bryers Natural Vanilla ice cream with the bean specks I love so much. So I ate cake, but cake only, and since it wasn't Harris Teeter's best (I could actually taste ingredients like flour, instead of the usual plasticine chemicals reserved for kids sheet cakes) but instead purchased at Edible Arts, I felt less guilty. You know, supporting the local economy and all.

We went out to dinner at a high-end Japanese restaurant (ginger salad dressing...gahhhhh) and a movie, and I declined all the wine, beer, popcorn, and chocolate my family could offer. That's something.

Side bar: We saw Avatar and it is, indeed, worthy of (most of) the hype it's been getting. I recommend it.

Tomorrow is a new, sugar-free day. Onward ho. (That's what she said.)