More Weekend, Please...

I am feeling kinda crabby and blue today. I don't know why, because I've had a perfectly nice weekend of Friday night crafts/bonfire, and a Saturday night show of Hurry for the Riff Raff, a folksy-blues duo out of New Orleans. I really can't hone in on what it is that made me eat an entire bag of Oreos between yesterday and today, when I have a rich and fun social life and a stable job and nice place to live and lots of fun collaborations going on in different directions. It looks good on paper. So why is it that I feel sad enough to stuff cookies into my gut? Or eat three portions of (relatively healthy, homemade) chili? I shouldn't even be able to hold that much.

I was asking myself that question--why am I sad?--and what I kept coming back to was the earthquakes in Chile and Haiti, and the temporary tsunami warning for my friends in Hawaii, and the the giant icebergs colliding in the Arctic (because they're melting, and junk?) and the multi-layered stories of fuckery, from all sides, in the Middle East, and the next rounds of banks slated to go under on our current financial roller coaster.

It's almost too much to handle, being aware of the world and capable of drawing the most likely conclusions to the whole, dire mess.

Plus, I'm pretty sure I have carpal tunnel in my left hand.

Oreo's taste better than exercise. Anybody got a cure for that?

My Pa.-Pointment

My friends little girl used to say appointment like that. She also said pa-partment...cute.
I went for my three month check up yesterday. Since I was diagnosed with Diabetes I've been to the doctor more times than I probably have been all the years of my life before. Well, the blood test was A-MAZE-ING! Everything is within a normal range, my A1C levels are completely level and within normal range, my cholesterol has come down and my good cholesterol has gone up. I've lost weight and my hair is growing back. Could it get any better? Well, yes.

I went home immediately energized out of weeks of carb funk and inertia, slapped my body onto the Wii fit board and completed a yoga workout. Felt GOOD! Some stuff I did worse, some I actually got better at. Also, I've noticed a big change in my body shape, and realized it was largely a result of the yoga. Funny because when you're doing yoga you don't really think about it actually changing your body; it doesn't seem like a strenuous enough activity.

I'm here to say, YAY! Hope everyone else is doing well as none of us have posted in a while. Here's to February being almost OVER! I'm so ready for spring, its not even funny!

V-Day Surprise

Although no one came out of the woodwork and confessed their undying love me for, and I didn't get a single Valentine for the first year I can remember (normally, I at least get a Mom-card...), I did somehow lose two pounds this weekend. It's a Hallmark holiday miracle!

It's funny--I was kind of beating myself up because I drank some beer on Thursday night, and I had a cookie on Saturday, but I think that my choices really are finally morphing into a lifestyle instead of a diet or an exercise fad, and that makes me feel good.

Plus, I was feeling all sorry for myself on Friday night, and I had a good, old fashioned cry. It had been a long, long time since I'd done that, I realized; years, it had been, and I think maybe the metaphorical cleansing and purging manifested itself in actual weight loss. Maybe.

I don't know how the hell else I managed to lose any weight with four alcoholic drinks, most of a box of low carb fudge bars, and generous portions of cheese for the past four days.

I did manage to have an amazing Valentine's Day weekend as a single lady (hey, Beyonce, hey). I went out to the movies with Eli on Friday, I saw the world championship of bull riding on Saturday (my first rodeo!), and tonight, I saw an early performance from the legendary Wanda Jackson; she toured with, and dated, Elvis back before he was E l v i s, and she's the most recent inductee into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She's tiny and 70+ and she wore lots of bling and fringe, and she absolutely rocked. It was a great way to spend Valentine's Day, I won't lie.

I have to go scoop cat litter. G'nite.

Official Love Yourself Day

I know that all of us on this blog have been talking about giving ourselves a break, so I am declaring this day LOVE YOURSELF day. I have exited the carb load caboose YAY!

We had a Valentine's breakfast this morning. I decorated and we made eggs and banana muffins and whole wheat waffles and bacon and sausage. I did really well! One muffin, 1/6 of a waffle 1 sausage link, 1 bacon strip, and eggs. MMMM And I was surrounded by people I love and who love me. Couldn't get better...unless I woke up with some hunky guy hovering over me coming in for a kiss :) Then I woke up.

Carb Spiral

Hoo boy. Its been a doozy of a week. I have been inhaling carbs in the form of baked goods like they're going out of style. My philosophy, at this point, is just that. I need renewed motivation. Anybody?

Slack...How Fantastic!

So I managed to stick to the positive thoughts from last weeks yoga class of fakin' it til you make it. I lost a little over 3 pounds, which brings my total to 15 pounds since the first week in January. I got a goofy star sticker and everyone clapped for me at the meeting. I'll admit it was kinda cool, and really, who doesn't love a sticker?

It's amazing how Adrienne, the yoga instructor, always brings a lesson or thought to class that is so pertinent to my current experience.

All day yesterday, I was suffering from the "I just can't do it all, and therefore, I'm a loser" blues. Somehow I managed to get the idea in my head that I am supposed to keep the house clean, the marriage nurtured, the children happy and healthy, cook nutritious shit, the dogs looked after, some money coming in, stay on the diet, exercise three times a week, write a script, begin a book or two, blog, go to the 'isits' and take my meds so I can stay sane, and report it all on Facebook in some pithy and comical manner. Seriously.

I end up putting so much pressure on myself, I become practically immobile. I know I need to cut myself some slack, but I honestly don't know how. I really don't. I can say out loud that that is what I'm doing, but I'm lying every time. I need to read 'Cutting Yourself Some Slack for Dummies', or at least the cliff notes version.

Meanwhile, back on the yoga mat...Adrienne read her interpretation of what she gleaned from the book 'The Art of Possibility' by Benjamin Zander, the conductor for the Boston Philharmonic. According to Zander, we should celebrate our mistakes, and he encourages his orchestra to do the same. You fall behind the beat, "How Fantastic!" You play the wrong note, "Stupendous!" By celebrating your mistakes it gives you a world of options. By closing all the doors and windows to error you end up frozen in a place where there is no air, no creativity, no grace, no life. That, in a nutshell, is where my brain gets stuck when I try to cut myself some slack, or relieve some of the pressure, in that airless room. Sometimes I get locked so tightly in there I literally have to remind myself to breathe.

Adrienne encouraged us to celebrate the mistakes we made in class. Fall out of a posture - 'How Fantastic!' An opportunity to try again in a different way with a different mind set has just presented itself to you. After all, it took Edison 1000 tries to invent the light bulb. So he learned a thousand ways to not make a light bulb. Stupendous.

So this week, I will give it a go, but I gotta say I'm a little skeptical right out of the gate (How fantastic?). It would appear I'm even scared of celebrating my mistakes incorrectly. What the fuck brain?!?!

So here we go...adding another layer to the process. You don't have motivation to exercise? Get

It Girl! Burned the new recipe for brussel sprouts, Wah-hoo! I guess where we go from there is rife with possibilities.

I'll report back with my findings to this attempt. But if I don't, it's probably because I'm celebrating that mistake of a forgotten promise by chillin' with my new friend, Slack.

Speaking of Brussel Sprouts

I mentioned then at the end of my last blog, and it may have sounded like punishment I had in mind (what am I Yoda?), but I LOVE brussel sprouts. They just have to be prepared correctly. So, you want my recipe for delicious? You GOT it (won't say Toyota because...clearly they HAVEN'T got it anymore).
Yummy Brussel Sprouts

1 pile of brussel sprouts
2 tbsp butter (no substitutes)
splash of lemon juice

Take said pile of brussel sprouts and prepare them for cooking by cutting off the stem end and then cutting them in half. this will cause the outer leaves (some are tough, some are dirty...this is beginning to sound sexual) to fall away leaving the tender, fresh and turgid brussel that you want to eat (OK its getting worse!)
You can either steam then in a steamer pan, or just place them all cut side down in a saute pan large enough to allow them all to lay flat and add some water and a lid. Only add like a 1/4 to 1/2 cup of water. Turn on heat and steam till bright green. If you prefer your veggies tres al dente steam less, if you like them deed, more. Once they are looking almost done. Take the lid off and allow the water to steam off. Crack some fresh pepper over their little heads and sprinkle with a little salt too. Now's the time to throw the butter in. Allow it to melt and swish it around the pan being careful not to move the brussels. The key to amazing brussel sprouts is carmelization, so DON'T move them. Keep the heat med hi to hi and allow some nice browning to occur. After a few minutes (don't allow the pan to get TOO hot, if you see too much smoke, just turn it down) check a brussel sprouts bottom half; if it is sufficiently brown you're ready for the lemon juice. Now, sprinkle that lemon juice over the sprouts, just a few glugs, or if you want to use fresh (always better), one lemon's worth. Let that cook down (make sure its not so hot as to burn the sugars on the lemon juice), for like a minute and serve.

I personally eat a whole pan by myself. I kind of love that no one in my house likes brussels (except my brother) so I don't have to share. Seriously, its a scratch I just can't stop itching. See if you like them...go ahead, it won't kill you.