Another First

I've had what I think is the last indicator I need that the time to change my life is now.

I had my very first panic/anxiety attack yesterday. Yes, it was triggered with imbibing a bit of my favorite intoxicant, and then going on a vigorous walk in 82 degree weather, but I seriously thought I was having a stroke or something, and that compounded into four hours of straight trippin', boo. I've never had a problem with anxiety in my life, but I guess no one does, until they do.

It scared me, and I'm going to call Wake Med about getting into therapy tomorrow.

These last three weeks or so have been somewhat brutal, and have included two types of stress I have never had to deal with before; suicide attempt of a friend, and a work-related injury that has severly disrupted my life.

Side note: I always thought people with carpal tunnel were pansies, and were kinda being babies about the whole thing. What's the big deal with a little tingling? The big deal is that that is the most MINOR of all symptoms. I can sleep again, thank God above, and I feel much improved for all the chiropractic care, but this battle is just beginning.

Annnnnnnnnnnd cue the need for a dramatic life change...now.

My chiro is doing research on my personal nutritonal/supplemental needs, and I begin personal training there in three weeks. The trainer has promised me she is going to kick my ass and I am officially terrified, and hopeful.

Here's hoping that I can get in to see a therapist and start mending the mental injuries that I can't really ignore anymore. I don't want to live with anxiety. Come to find out, it really sucks.

All is not doom and gloom. I had a lovely brunch today at my house with an old friend I haven't seen in a few months, and the sun is shining. I love my friends and family, and I really, really like the house where I live. My job is interesting and challenging, and Raleigh is a dynamic city full of things to do. I have an awesome dog and an awesome car.

I want to feel as awesome as the rest of my life. Now is the time.