What a Wicked Week

Oh man, it's been a doozy.

I have managed to shed another pound, which is a frickin miracle given what I've been eating. It's amazing how stress can burn calories if you're doing it hard enough. If only all the rest of the side effects of extreme stress were as welcome as weight loss...

In a nutshell: bi-polar, attention-starved (used-to-be-my-)friend got suicidal on Sunday night, and I got to deal with the ramifications on Monday. She is alive, which is a relief, but for every one of the five minutes I pounded on her door thinking the worst, I think I consumed five Oreos. With peanut butter on top. I wish I was kidding. Literally, most incredible taste sensation. Don't even try it. Some things it's best not to know. Then, my shoulder/neck crinked up even more, leading me to believe that it might be a pinched nerve as opposed to carpal tunnel--I can't decide which I want it to be. Neither excite me. My dog almost killed a feral cat when we were on a walk in the woods, and I had to get bloody scratched up to prevent the slaughter--once a dog kills one cat, you can guarantee they'll kill another, and since I'm CAT-sitting for five more months, that just won't do. He gets confused when furry things run from him in the woods; he wants to shake it, whatever it is.

I feel really put-upon currently, just by the universe at large, and while I don't mean that to sound all victim-y, I am starting to wonder about cosmic endurance tests.

The problem with all this is that I have realized that under extreme duress, I am still relying on my old crutches. I eat very small amounts of mostly junk, I drink alcohol (only two glasses of wine this week, so I feel all right there), I smoke a lot of cigarettes, and I exercise less. Bad, meh, terrible, and wrong.

I ate salad and fish for dinner tonight, so I feel like the stress fog is starting to break enough that I can remember that there are better coping mechanisms than cheddar herb kettle chips and that disgusting, amazing combo cookie combo I mentioned earlier. On a positive note where junk food is concerned, I don't eat it all in one sitting anymore. This is a new realization. Used to be, I'd buy a bag of chips--gone in one night, if not one sitting. A bag of cookies--24 hours or less. I couldn't stop myself. Now, there are five to seven servings. Almost like what they recommend on the bag. Don't forget to love ourselves for the small victories.

Fingers going numb. Big love!