Fat Folks Anonymous

So today a co-worker of mine asked me if I wanted to join Weight Watchers with her. *sigh* Yeah, okay, I said I wanted to lose weight in front of her, but having that question asked to my face, point blank means - IT'S OBVIOUS I am living on Please Pass The Cheesecake Street.

Prior to this moment, over the holidays I was 'thinking to myself': Yes, I DO have a buh-donk-a-donk, and yes, most of the men who cat call or give me the lewd once over are either of African American or Mexican descent (oh those dudes LOVE what I gots goin' on), but I should really try to celebrate this process of who I am, and this body that will carry me through this transformation.

I then further thought to myself: So if a certain demographic finds me sexy, maybe I am just inherently sexy and, therefore, I should celebrate this fact right now by swinging the aforementioned Onion a little more than normal. So I practiced. Right there in my mother-in-law's house. I swung my hips back and forth and you know what happened?

I knocked shit over.

And I whacked my three year old in the head - a couple of times... WITH MY ASS. It's safe to say there is more than a small chink in my 'you go girl' armor.

I am immediately going cold turkey on 'thinking to myself' because let's face it, it really doesn't work out for me. Any and all brand new 'bright ideas' will either be immediately quashed or published right here for ya'll to see. Haaaaaaay.

So, post-cheesecake, it occurred to me that, well, perhaps a nice net of folks to help in the M.M.B.S. (Make Mommy's Butt Smaller) effort might not be a bad idea.

I'm thinking ok Weight Watchers, I'll do some 12 stepy program - hopefully it'll work. And ok, I'll get back into Pilates, and maybe that teacher training I abandoned right before 'the great expanse' will come in handy.

I'm picking up my ego and putting it back on, despite the dust. Alright, Thursday here I come.

my measurements (cringe!)

this is mostly for a the record books. so i can come back a month, 6 months, and a year later and see how i compare. for the better i hope! ok, here goes:

as of 12/27/09.

15" - neck
15" - top of arm
46" - bust (no bra)
37.5" - natural waist
41" - 1.5" above belly button
46.75" - belly button
48" - 3" below belly button
29" - top of thigh
24.25" - mid thigh
16" - calf

phew. ok, this has to get better. and knowing i would do this today, i went to the GYM last night for the first time in oh, 3 months. $69 a month whether i go or not. i vow to not be a dummy in 2010.

TAKE NO PRISONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did my kathy smith last night...the one i've been doing since the ripe age of 12. i love it. it's comforting to do but it is a challenge to do without stopping (especially at my current, highest weight ever)...i am beet red and sweating bullets by the end of it. peak fat burning, indeed.

my plan is to do a kathy smith aerobic or strength training video (30-40 min) and then hop on the treadmill for about 30-60 minutes to get this weight off. other times when i've lost alot of weight, about 35 lbs before, i was playing racquetball about 6-7 hours a week in addition to other activities. which means, i have to HAUL ASS to get down to my 150.

i took my measurements the other day. i will be posting them soon.

Yesterday....

Well, I was proud of myself. I gained 1.5 pounds over the holidays and my blood sugar didn't spike like crazy so I felt a sense of accomplishment. Yesterday I decided that I was going cold turkey on sugar for two weeks. No desserts no matter how small, to break my sugar readdiction from christmas cookies. I did well all day long. Breakfast: egg whites and a piece of friendship bread (ok technically this has sugar..dangit), Lunch: carrot sticks....and a cheeseburger, Dinner: Tilapia and red quinoa pilaf...and an amaretto sour (with sugar free sour mix). Technically, not sugar free either. Good good so far good(denial is not just a river...). For desert, sugar free vanilla pudding and 1 dove sugar free chocolate. Then 8pm hit. The cookies on the counter turned on me. One lemon drop cookie turned into another almond cookie, a tiny sliver of peanut brittle, a frosted sugar cookie, and last but certainly not least, a piece of cranberry torte. That is officially a sugar binge. Dang IT! All of the months of hard work to break that addiction, down the tubes. And now I'm up 2.5 pounds.
Today is a new day, and I'm starting over. That is all.

One of Those Days

I am having one of those days when I'm convinced I'm going to be fat forever. I hate this feeling. It's entirely self-defeating, and pretty much counterproductive to feeling good about my journey since the surgery.

Here's the kicker about the Lap-band surgery--it ain't a quick fix. Yes, it restricts my intake somewhat, and true, some foods I will never eat again. Steak, for example. Never again will I enjoy a steak. It's just not in the cards, mostly because it won't stay in my stomach.

I threw up twice today. I throw up at least once a week, because what will and won't pass changes day by day, based on how much I've already eaten, what time of day it is (stomach is tighter in the morning), if I drink any liquids while I'm eating, and what order I eat the contents of my meal (i.e. if I eat salad first, that's all I'll eat...and I think I've hit on something here...). It saddens me a bit that I've become so used to vomitting, not in the way that bulimics get used to it, and somehow feel empowered by it, but in this strange way that has made vomiting not so strange to me. I can do it on command now, y'all. Don't even have to use a finger. It's strange to have that kind of control of an unconscious reflex. Making the unconscious conscious is a strange and discomforting thing. I noticed tonight that the enamel on my teeth is not appreciating this somewhat-regular regurgitation, and I feel confident a doctor, could I afford one, would tell me that this is the greatest sign that I could ever receive that I am not eating right, or in the right proportions, for a post-op Lap-bander. (sigh) I know they'd be right.

But that all changes in a few short days, again, and for good. I don't want to be fat anymore. It is my dearest wish to fit into a size 10. That doesn't seem like such an absurd goal when I write it down...I mean, I've already gone down six sizes (currently at 22) so I only need to do that again, twice. I just want to feel good, body and soul, and I want to quit feeling the stares of mean-spirited strangers when I drive past them eating something (Haven't you eaten enough this year? is what I imagine they think) and I want to give up the old fear I have that ever time people laugh quietly in public, they are actually laughing at me for being fat. Of course, being judged for who you are and not what you look like is a bit more scalding, but I'll take it over the self-doubt, any day.

Kate Moss was quoted once as saying, "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels." I imagine that she is right, but I have never been priviledged enough to test the merit of this statement against my own personal experience. I like how that quote sounds--it bolsters me somehow--but at the same time, it kind of makes my skin crawl. I think it's easy to talk about being skinny when you have the cash to be a cocaine addict with flimsy morals and global recognition.

Part of me is scared to be more trim, and the other part of me is scared I can't do what it takes to get there. Giving up the bulk of my built-in security blanket is a daunting thought, which is funny, because it's the one thing I want most in the world. Odd how often we can function as living, breathing paradoxes to ourselves.

So that's it. I want it, and I'm scared. What IS that?

6 holiday parties down, none to go.

Well, I have certainly had my fill of holiday fare. As much as I have enjoyed myself, I'm glad the orgy of rich food is (mostly) concluded. So long, swedish meatballs. Goodbye, finger cookies. Adios, liquor-laced egg nog. 'Til next year...except next year, I won't eat like it's going out of style.

With this impending January 2nd sugar cessation deadline, I have been running unchecked...which is somewhat flawed logic, but it felt like a fitting bon voyage. Frankly, I'm excited at the challenge of no sugar once again. I did it before, and I can do it again, dammit! The only thing that has me twitchy in the slightest is giving up the alcohol. I really and truly don't drink much, but when I do...boy, do I enjoy it. Oh, white wine...sweet white wine, how I love thee. (sigh) She'll be missed. And I'll be a cheap date, once again.

I'm anxiously awaiting my return to the swimming pool, as well. Swimming makes me feel so, so good. Sometimes, after doing the freestyle for an hour, I get out of the pool and have to just kinda hang out in the locker room for a while before driving away...I guess it's the same as a runners high. Any which way, it's somewhat intoxicating, and it makes me feel giddy.

My goal is to look as good as Mariska Hargitay in a tank top. Granted, my bat wings will either flap away forever, or I'll have to have them surgically removed, but I'll still look hot with my toned arms and my ripped back.

2010...it's the year for Big Changes, Big Moves, Big Accomplishments. I can't wait. Bring it, '10! I'm ready for ya.

Mollye Weighs in...get it?

I have lost a total of 97 pounds so far...and then came the holidays. So I have decided that this year, my goal is to simply maintain. I plan to gain no weight. I am not really good at the daily thing but will check in at least on a weekly. Its Christmas eve and, aside from eating more cookies than necessary (some days 2 a day) I am doing alright.
Yesterday, I had egg whites and an apple for breakfast. I have been eating Kashi Go Lean ( high protein, high fiber, low carbs) for months now and needed a break. Cookie for snack at work.
Kielbasa on a roll with carmelized onions and peppers and mustard, a crystal light peach fiber drink for lunch.
For dinner, I splashed out and had a piece of chicken pizza, 10 mild wings (they are carb free, so an acceptable indulgence from time to time) and a diet dr Pepper (my kriptonite).
After wrapping all the presents, I got a little light headed and had a snack of sugar free vanilla pudding, and 12 pretzel nuggets. Hokay, my first entry is complete.

Praying to the Church of Morgan Freeman

So I'm not a deeply religious person, but I'll take a helpful message where I can get it - even if it does come through a Steve Carell movie.

The other day I was watching Evan Almighty on TBS or some shit. While eating Dark Chocolate Raisinettes - my go to crack of choice. And on comes a scene where Morgan Freeman, who plays The Almighty, tells a woman who has asked him what to do, "You don't give a person who prays for courage, courage - you give them the opportunity to be courageous."

Action word. Verb.

And I had a light bulb moment...in the middle of a B movie, in my pjs. I always imagine my epiphanies occurring with me in a long flowing dress on a cliff's edge with the wind blowing my long dark tresses out behind me kinda way - you know Gone With The Wind meets - um...Ellen Degeneres pre- Portia De Rossi. Jacked up Ellen.

ANYWAY (sorry I do have a tendency towards the tangent) My epiphany was simply this: I am praying for the opportunity to make my ass smaller. Keep getting off your ass. You Go Girl.

And there you have it.

The Holiday Nail in My Fat Coffin

Gah. Friggin' cookies. They're everywhere. I baked a bunch to give away, and give away I have, but there are still so many floating about, waiting for delivery...and quietly calling my name from room to room. After the holidays, I'm off sugar again. Period. That's the key to my weight loss, I have found, and how conveniently I have ignored that for the last year. The real kicker is the sugar in alcohol. Man, I really like white wine. I don't drink frequently, but when I drink, I throw dooowwwwwwn. This has to stop.

I had an awesome time at two holiday parties last night, but I ate too much, and drank more than I probably should have. I didn't get drunk, but I still had six drinks over the evening...and then another three this afternoon, sitting around a fire bowl in what will soon be My Backyard.

I'm not even gonna attempt to chart what I ate yesterday and today. It will depress me too much. But tomorrow is another day...and another Xmas party.

I really can't wait for the holidays to pass. Back to the pool. Off the sugar. On the Thin Train.

love you all.

Fear, Loathing and Mother's Little Helper

Whew - it seems as though I am stuck in a blizzard bender.

Not that I'm making the rounds to DQ mind you, I just seem to be eating everything in sight since all this snow hit and we have been homebound for the last three days. As soon as the kiddos are snug as bugs it's GAME ON with the snacks and the adult imbibing activities. I plead boredom with a hefty side order of depression, and a little bit of cabin fever sprinkled on top for extra flavor.

Personally, I think Ma Nature needs to spend three days inside with three very active Puckett Boys, maybe then she'd rethink that forecast, apparently there's more to come this week.

All this to say, I've had a lot of time to sit and contemplate my navel and why I can now make frowny faces with it.

Here's what I have thunk:

I hate my body the way it is RIGHT NOW.

I fear I will NEVER lose all this weight.

I LOATHE the fact that I knock things over with my ass on a daily basis.

I wish I had a better Mommy.

Here's what I think about what I thunk:

If I don't figure out how to love me no matter what the package, I won't be happy even if I do accomplish the weight loss.

I have done much harder things than lose weight.

Sometimes it is kinda funny to have an ass with a daredevil streak.

I feel like my life is one long bumper sticker platitude.

Harumph.

And that's where I am, still making the same progress...

In the a.m. - lovely bowl of Weight Control Oatmeal and cup of coffee with soy milk and then the rest of the day is just a downhill slope like the sag in my upper arms.

I try daily to renew my willpower, desire to keep on keepin' on and my patience - but today the PPD seems to be winning out. All I want to do is get back in bed.

I had been seeing a doc who specialized in Moms with PPD but after 8 months of her NEVER remembering who I was and a 20 pound weight gain due to all the meds she put me on, (TWENTY POUNDS!! Which I had already lost by the way), I decided it was time to find a new doc.

The new guy I found, I have seen twice. He wears bow ties with animals on them, brings his dog to work and has bowls of old fashioned hard candy EVERYWHERE. So far so good. His name is Dr. Dray (pronounced just like the rap star - another bonus as far as I am concerned). He is pulling me off all the meds the Dumbass Doc put me on and trying me on some new stuff. Namely a mood stabilizer as he seems to think I have bi-polar tendencies - and there it is - all plain, in black and white and out in the open like.

I have not officially been diagnosed with bi-polar depression, just with tendencies towards bipolar mood swings. And I don't get all Patty Duke either...I don't get to have the high highs - I have the 'type 2' tendencies, so I swing back and forth between depression and hard core irritability. Kinda like non-stop PMS. Yay.

The upside is, it may not last forever, once my hormones regulate, I'll go back to 'normal.' (heh) But there is a chance that I had these tendencies to begin with and all the hormonal shifts of birthing two babies brought it out. Since my Dad's stapler has been in the same spot on his desk since before I was born (he got it when he was serving in Vietnam ya'll) and he gets EXTREMELY irate if you move that little fucker, I'm thinking I may be doomed to the latter.

Now that I sit here and tap out my woes like a lapsed Catholic who's so confused they are confessing in a porta potty, it occurs to me that I may be getting my snack on with such vigor lately because I am embarrassed about being depressed with bipolar leanings.

My whole family thinks I'm 'too smart' to have these problems. I know the old arguments - "If I were diabetic would they tell me not to take my meds then too?" I just never figured Mother's Little Helper would be the theme song of my late 30's/beginning of my 40's.

I am STILL planning on being forty and fabulous next December - I know a LOT can happen in a year.

And I wasn't planning on divulging so much, but since Suzy got the ball rolling I thought I'd jump on the 'here's my current hurdle' bandwagon. Interestingly enough, I feel better.

big boy joy

a big boy haiku:

cute boy much too big
hopes this blog will do the trick
gut bustin', crackin' thighs y'all!

sorry for the delay in contributing. i wasn't sure if i was up for it. i'm not one for posting my biggest failures on the world wide web. i've always been pretty successful, but not with this, so i thought this may be the kick in the ass i need...plus i've never been a part of a blog a "content advisory".

but i'm in.

as i sit at home, hacking my lungs out with a bitch of a chest cold, i realize how health is everything, and how much i have trashed my body, which has affected not only my physical health, but my emotional health as well. it is time to focus on that elephant in the room...that son of a bitch has been screaming at me for decades and i've become very skilled at ignoring it and pursuing other things "i need to do first". well now this is first.

thanks for your candid post, Suzy. mabye one day i can be as candid.

Deliver Me From Temptation

I just baked macadamia nut thumbprints with apricot jam, lime meltaways and oatmeal cookies with cranberries and toasted coconut. I did not shove them into my mouth by hand fulls, nor did I continuously eat batter during the baking process. It's a small victory, but a victory none the less. So, more for you.

Breakfast:

1 cup cinnamon Chex, dry

3 peanut butter cookies (Mom came home with a bag from a party last night, that she then shoved at me this morning, for my 'coworkers'. I did put them on the break table, but I think I ate more than anyone else)

Lunch:

the award for the strangest combo goes to....tuna sushi rolls, and a cup of chicken chili. Odd, but good.

4 more cookies, dammit

Dinner:

2 tbsp pimento cheese

1/2 serving Reduced Fat Wheat Thins

1 cup butternut squash soup

Treat:

1 cranberry oatmeal cookie

1 lil chunk of dark chocolate, 70% cocoa. mmmmmm.....

2 Vlasik kosher dills

Water:

5 liters

Exercise:

Yeah, about that...

Well, shit. I ate one serving of vegetables, and approximately 17 servings of dessert. On the upside, I suppose, I'm back to drinking so much water I have to pee every time I hear water running, a toilet flushing, my dog peeing, or any time I pour another glass of water.

Back to rolling balls. Of dough. Perverts.

super helpful but not the link no longer works

hey, i did this virtual simulator about 15 lbs ago and i thought it was pretty helpful. HOWEVER, the link (http://www.myvirtualmodel.com/) no longer works. boo hiss. does anyone know of a similar (free) version of this online??

By the way...

Meant to tell you that there is a GREAT calorie counter at thedailyplate.com which is part of Lance Armstrong's Livestrong.com website which is very...um - yellow. But regardless of the cheese factor it is a great calorie counter and way to track exercise and water intake. The database is huge and usually you can type in what you ate and the product or food will come right up or at least something extremely similar.

Hope that helps!

How's This For Candid?

While I intend to primarily use this blog as a place to track my eating and exercise habits, and commiserate with other ladies (and perhaps a gent or two, one day?), it would be a fallacy to think that I could conquer this beast without addressing this issue of why I eat and live like I do. It's 'bout to get heavy for a sec, no pun intended.

My bad habits date back to my earliest memories. When I was a young, young child, I was sexually abused. I was so young that I have no real clear memories of the event; shadowy memories of a dark staircase and a peg board where paddles for beatings were hung and sharp fingernails are all I really have. It was my babysitter's father, I'm fairly sure. Frankly, I'm thankful I don't remember more. I just know something Bad happened in that house, and I started eating in secret after that. It wasn't until last year that I googled 'secret eating' and found out, quickly, it is one of the largest indicators of childhood sexual abuse...controlling food when there is no other control. I also think that somewhere in my subconscious, I knew that if I ate and got fat, no one would want to do those things to me anymore. Apparently, it worked. Those awful incidents were isolated to times before age four; unfortunate because those are possibly the most formative times, fortunate because I've had a lot of good life since then. But I've held onto the protective mechanisms I developed back then, when I didn't like myself and thought I was ugly.

Fast forward 24 years. I went to the student health center because the problem with my ankle was rendering me damn near crippled. I stepped on the scale, because that's the first stop no matter what the ailment, and the number I saw shocked me. 355 pounds, friends and neighbors. I'd like to think I wore it well, because it genuinely startled both me and the nurse practicioner...she had to check it twice because it seemed wrong, somehow. I mean, I knew I was squeeeeeezing into the biggest size Lane Bryant AKA Phat Farm offered, but I didn't have any idea that I had gotten That Fat. It was a horrifying moment I will never forget.

I decided that night to get the Lap-band surgery, and set about making that happen. $12,000, two years, and two trips to Detroit later, I couldn't be happier about the decision I've made, but it's getting hard now. The weight loss has tapered down to nothing, because I have backslid on the good habits I was forced into, at the beginning. Things inside aren't as tight as they were a year ago, and I still owe the treating hospital in Winston Salem $350, so I can't go get more saline injected into me ala Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. Seriously, it's an apt comparison. That part SUCKS, but at least it's over quick.

For the first nine months post-op, I lost five to seven pounds a week, mainly because I was eating no sugar and drinking no alcohol. I think the stress of my senior year of college aided in the weight loss, too. But now, I have a stress-free job (talk about dreaming the impossible dream), and I've settled into a comfortable routine that doesn't involve nearly enough exercise, and entirely too much sugar. Sugar is the fucking devil. I love it, and it. is. the. problem. I'm hooked, and I know it, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to avoid that hateful trick, Little Debbie. I do have some modicum of discipline, where I used to have none, but I find myself rationalizing foods that are purely irrational.

I want this surgery to work for me more than anything. I want to be able to fit into all the roller coasters, and go on hikes, difficulty medium, without feeling like I'm going to vomit up my lungs and shit out my kidneys. I want to walk without a limp, and I want it to feel good when I exercise. I want to make all the necessary lifestyle changes and I want them to hold. I want to weigh 165 lbs. and I want that to happen before I turn 35. I'm halfway there.

I need to get back to swimming--I was swimming roughly seven miles a week, and it was friggin awesome, but after six months, my formerly perfect skin went all rough and flaky, and my hair rebelled. So my vanity won out, and I got out of the pool. I walk now, but it's not enough, and I know it. Anybody out there have any good suggestions for skin care to counteract chlorine? Regular moisturizer isn't enough...believe me, I tried.

Phew. It felt goooooooood to say all of that. I've never publicly admitted that hefty load before.

Breakfast:

6 tbsp. homemade pimento cheese

1 serving Reduced Fat Wheat Thins

1 banana

Lunch:

1 cup Chex cinnamon cereal, dry

1 serving Oikos fat-free greek yogurt, vanilla

Snack:

1 pkg. Lance Reduced Fat PB crackers, 1 homemade lime meltaway (tiny cookie, for real)

Dinner:

(sigh) Taco Bell fiesta taco salad, sans the shell

soft taco

Water:

3 liters and counting

Exercise:

(sigh) none

So there's that. I'm taking control, I'm not going to let someone else's actions a long time ago dictate the long and happy future I have in front of me. I'm going to take responsibility for my health (and one day, kick smoking, too) Frankly, I'm way too hot and fabulous to lug all this fat around with me. It's slowing me down, and I'm not having it anymore.

xoxo

Everyone, meet...every one else.

Ladies,

I'm so glad we're doing this. I'm also thankful to have pulled a few more recruits in from my nearest and dearest.

Adrienne and Sweet D--Raleighites that have migrated northward--meet Betsy, a dear friend that I met onstage in Asheville, and my fabulous cousin Mollye, holding it down in chilly upstate New York. I'm glad that Betsy and Mollye would join us...the more, the healthier? Mollye and Betsy--Adrienne and Sweet D. Sweet D and Adrienne--Betsy and Mollye.

Okay, so you're not strangers anymore now, right? We can move on to the soul-baring, eh? Heh.

xoxo

Your Word of the Day: 'Bool'

So hello to you all. I am logging in and hitching my big behind to the Thin Train. Pleased to meet you.

Thought you'd like some whats and wheres that got me to where I am, you know...fat.

For starters, I've had two babies - so there's some residual leftovers there. Namely dark chocolate raisinettes. And since the birth of my second son, Noah George I've had a new entity in my life that's about the size and shape of some major post-partum depression. Apparently, over 700,000 women suffer from PPD a year, but I sure as hell don't know where any of those ladies are, and perhaps they don't eat their feelings like I do, so that's why I'm not bumping into any of them in my pantry. All this to say I think being overweight can be a pretty droopy (in more ways than one) and lonely place to call home. And that's kind of where I am.

I am 226 pounds. Yes sirree. I have no current photos of myself and don't own a scale because I used to have one and I would weigh myself obsessively, BUT(T) I will go get one and have my hubster take a nice photo of me for the effort because I am nothing if not a team player. I also have a serious honesty streak that can sometimes lean toward the self deprecating, but I am hoping being a part of this journey with you all will help me try and keep it light and chuckly as I head towards a shiny new bod, or a more polished version of this old saggy model I've got to rattle around in here.

What I ate today:

Well I started out GREAT.

Breakfast:

Weight Control Oatmeal: 160 calories

Soy Milk in Coffee: 45 calories

Thin friend over with superior air and much thinner body who brought candy canes - all downhill from there.

I mean really. We're talking three year old tantrums=where's the chocolate chip banana bread. THE WHOLE LOAF. It was just a mini one though. My only concession.

The day has been capped with a small bowl of cocoa krispies which actually only have 120 calories in one serving and I did manage to only have one serving. A small victory.

But there's always the fact that tomorrow is another day and tomorrow, I go running. Last night, I ran three point two miles without stopping to walk and that's the third time I've done it, which makes me feel like a soft rock star - somewhere on the odd culty Steve Perry level.

Tomorrow we do speed workouts, I'll be doing my first one.

Quick backstory: I started running about three months ago, because if I was gonna jiggle I was gonna at least jiggle with purpose. I found a 12-week Beginning Runners Program through the local track club which was designed to train you to run a 5k in three months. Our goal was the Turkey Trot 5k on Thanksgiving Day. There was even a t-shirt design contest which I actually won - so it was safe to say I was a total joiner.

After the 5k, I wanted to keep up all the work I had done so I joined a group that runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays every week, year round. Jackpot. I had achieved Accountability Nirvana. So now I am a part of the runners group that calls themselves the Carrier Park Runners or CPR for short - clearly they have a sense of humor, and those are my kind of people.

Tomorrow is my first 'speed run' - I'll let you know how it goes. The idea of my name, speed and running together in a sentence is just bonkers and cool at the same time. It's bool.

Here We Go.

Hey pals,

So I think in an effort to pay necessary attention to my caloric intake, the amount of exercise I get, and how much water I drink, I'm going to use this space as a daily food journal. I would encourage you all to do the same! This is a method that has been proven to assist in eating less...having to write down everything that goes in your mouth, much less share it, is supposedly a wonderful deterrent to eating too much.

I really think this is shared blog is a great idea, and I know that we can all accomplish our goals if we help each other along the way!

December 15th, 2009:

Breakfast:

1 banana

1 cup Chex cinnamon cereal

Lunch:

Diet Coke in a can (1 calorie, praise Jeebus)

2 servings Reduced Fat Wheat Thins

homemade pimento cheese--since I made this, I'm going to estimate 500 calories, and like 30 g. fat. Not so great, and I'm hooked.

1 serving Oikos greek yogurt with honey

1 packet of Lance Reduced Fat PB crackers
Dinner:

1 1/2 cups my moms butternut squash soup.

Treat:

Two cookies that I baked. I haaaad to test them before giving them away, and they are only 1 inch around. I can't believe I just justified a cookie. This is working already.

Water: 2 liters, approximately.

Exercise: 30 minute brisk walk with my 80 lb. resistant weight of Tonka.

So that's a total of about 1500 calories...not bad. Sugar and fat needs to come down, but still...not bad. I'm angling for 1200 calories a day, ultimately, but I refuse to eat Lean Cuisine for lunch. That shit is like cardboard with sauce on top.

I found a calorie counter database at http://caloriecount.about.com. I'm not gonna lie...calculating was a little bit of a pain the ass, but I think it will likely be worth it, in the long run. Any takers? Y'all wanna join me in this tedium?

get fit, STAY FIERCE

ok ya'll...this is it. your new homebase for losing weight. by being on this journey together we pledge to:

1. transform into leaner, healthier, and happier peoples
2. be candid about our progress -- by documenting the process with weekly weigh-ins (by posting your weight or bmi) accompanied with a picture at time of weigh-in
3. provide support and encouragement for each other!
4. share recipes, resources, exercise hints and tips

OK PEOPLE...ARE YOU READY??...LET'S DO THIS!!...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!